You were never happy for me.
You just liked watching my hopes pour over the brim and spill onto your lap.
You can’t look at me that way. Like our eyes are meant to do all the dances lovers do: lock blink gaze shine stare glaze bare. No You can’t look at me like our eyes are meant to do any of those things at all. Don’t make me believe in you. You’re not real.
Think of me
I want to ride my bright red shiny bike in circle-eights around your head.
always been a little odd
Have you ever stared at yourself in the mirror until your eyes lose their focus and all the lines and symmetry that are you mush and wash together until they look like a disappointing watercolor project? Have you ever thought about what it means to be you and what it means to be you?
Why are the redheads always the "secret crush" or...
Oh. Wait. Because we’re awesome. And secretly every man’s wet dream.
Remember the day Jesse started her period? It had been snowing all weekend. By time we walked the trek from the parking lot - where the parents roamed in their mini-vans loading and docking, shouting and honking - to Mr. Phillips class, our boots stomped on creaking, white snow. The way the blood trickled like a scared puppy’s piss down her ankle and circled itself around her...
You say you don’t talk for your health. I say that’s shit because you smoke like a tug boat on a lazy river. I say that’s shit because you drink like water never existed. What will it take for you to believe you are a person, one who derserves love and life and passion and walks on Sundays through the park? I’ll start listening to you when you start listening to me. ...
There was nothing left in me by time you reached me. The others had already cracked me open and slurped and chewed everything out. How does it feel to believe someone you love is good and beautiful and happy and whole - how does it feel when you realize they are not?
There was nothing we didn’t do. We came alive as soon as the sun went down and stayed out, stomping pebbles deeper into the cracks of the streets until the sun greeted us again. Briana loved Rich but Rich loved Amanda. I think they got really high one time and loved each other all at one time. No one ever talked about it. Did they even remember that it had happened? Probably felt like a...
I will not sleep tonight. My eyes will be as big and bright as the moon and I will stare into the faces on my ceiling and wonder, How many lives have they seen fade beneath them? Twenty? One hundred and seven? And when I am gone - either from the world or just this room - will they wonder, What happened to the girl who dreamed without sleeping? Did she forget her brain is the true...
and the sun, it tries to warn me: boy, those wings are made of wax.– ryan adams (via yourhand-at-old-adventures)
I dream while awake I breathe under water I eat and feel nothing
I am with you and everything shines like the moon overhead. And then I go to sleep, my memory fails me, and I wake up without you. Without any recollection of the hope and joy that swelled in our hearts the night before.
If I ever killed you I did not mean to. The arrow I shot from the bow of my mouth became a boomerang and scared I ducked. There you were, sitting on grass that you pulled apart in your pink plams directly behind me, staring at my ass, staring at my hair, the freckles on the backs of my wrinkled elbows. How unassuming admiration is; it holds you like a rock but you are water. You...